The Subjectivity of Crystalbrain

It was fun to live in a world with limitations, but not when everything seemed to want to lock you into it. I had discussed many times with Crystalbrain what it was like to live without limits, without anyone to stop you from doing anything or any barrier, and he spoke always of boredom. He was a fan of pranks, scaring people, and generally messing with peoples' minds. I was always wary of him for this reason, as he had done similar things to me, even if in this world I was his creator.

One of his favorite tricks was to make my TV send me secret messages that weren't true. I knew he did this to get me in trouble, because if I talked about it with other people they would know that it was a symptom of schizophrenia and would lavish concern upon me. The fact is, I kept my entire relationship with Crystalbrain as a secret because he was more than a little bit of a liability. Sometimes strange things would happen, and people would not seem to be the wiser. It was as if even a large amount of strange things would be dismissed as being a mere coincidence, when in fact they were caused by Crystalbrain.

I glanced over at the television. It was static, like something from the 1980s, and said "27" in red letters on it in the center. I knew it was a hallucination caused by Crystalbrain.

"The 27 club, huh?" I said.

"Yes, you would have joined the 27 club if you were not past that age," he said.

I said, "Well, that's a relief, that I'm 38, which is eleven years past that age."

"Yes, but if you add 1 + 1 together, you get 2. And 2 isn't a good number," he said.

"Are you kidding me? Two is a great number. You need two people to make love. Besides, all this numerology stuff you pull out of your ass is bullshit," I said.

"Well, granted, but there was a time you couldn't see that," he said.

I replied, "Yeah, and you seemed to have a really great time messing with my head when that was the case."

"Yes, you were easy to mess with. I even messed with some people so they would mess with you," he said.

"I'm sure you find this all very amusing, but as someone who was locked up in a hospital for several weeks due to your bullshittery, I'm reminded of some not-so-good-times by this kind of thing you're pulling with the TV." I glowered at him.

"Indeed, those weren't good times," he said, " but you weren't a very good person anyways so even if I were capable of feeling bad about doing something to someone, I didn't feel bad about doing it to you."

"You wouldn't have felt bad about doing it to the nicest person on Earth," I said.

"This is true," came his reply.

"So, if you're such a moral reprobate, what are you harping on me for my character flaws for?" I asked.

Crystalbrain replied, "Because, as you said, I'm a moral reprobate. I don't feel bad about being a hypocrite. Hypocrisy comes as naturally to me as saying 'Please' or 'Thank you' comes to other people."

"You know, even though you're amoral, I'm at least a slightly moral person and I wrote you into existence," I said.

"Yes, and you still to this day do not know if I had you write me into existence," he said.

"So, its subjective?" I asked.

"Subjective," he replied.

"And what if I were to decide that I'm completely insane and that you and all of your antics are a hallucination?" I asked.

"Oh come on now, at least give me credit for being real," he said.

"After all you've done, I'm not giving you credit for anything," I said.

"You owe it to me," he said.

"I don't owe you shit. I wrote you into existence, you owe your existence to me, so shut up," I laughed.

"And you don't know--"

I interrupted him, "--if you had me write you into existence," I said sarcastically.

"Exactly, you don't know, so shut the hell up," he said.

I banged my fist on the table in front of me.

"Enough of this gaslighting," I said.