ok, so do u remember this dude, george h.w. bush?? he totally held up a bag of crack cocaine on TV and this was supposed to make us liek afraid of black dudes all high on crack with guns and shit. liek ok wtf ever, you certainly remember the big quarter rock of crack u took out of the microwave and passed around with me and reagan, or r u so short on memory maybe from smoking so much premium rock? liek i totally remember we were standing inside that petroleum refinery when i was 11 and u just sort of fondled my ass and asked me with a sweet grin if i wanted to get really high. and i was liek wtf dude there's oil everywhere, don't light that shit up in here, u'll burn the place down. and then u hit it anyways and reagan had to put out the fire with a garden hose that i thought looked liek a snake cuz i was so high after u passed the rock to me. anyways, saddam fucked with ur oil in kuwait and u got pissed off at him liek some wrathful babylonian deity and i was liek, just chill man, the dude just wants a port to ship his oil out of, let it be or something.

but then i took another hit of crack and the thought of blowing the shit out of a foreign country sounded kind of cool in that cracked up kind of way we had with ourselves. do u want to know a secret? saddam and i were liek bdsm buddies after the war ended; yeah, i took my 13 year old self over 2 iraq and we were liek trying out new torture techniques on each other, it was really kind of fun. can u picture my 13 year old ass with a whip just givin it hard 2 saddam while chicks in harem pants stuffed grapes in his mouth and slapped him around with hot spatulas? cuz i never told u about that george, i never got a chance to. so while most ppl remember the US army givin it hard in the ass to saddam, i was the real deal, i actually raided his palace and we played hide and go fuck yourself with all kinds of cool mesopotamian torture devices. wtf do u think of that huh? u never had so much fun.