ok, so j. edgar hoover is a real fuckin closet case. like his shit about COINTELPRO or whatever the fuck, liek even though he was gay he just liek couldn't lube up his asshole and walk over to the CIA and join teh big orgy. ok, so it wasn't until teh late 70's that we got cocaine, but teh CIA always prided itself as teh government organization that means "Cock In Ass".

eye think teh FBI stands 4 "Fuckin' Bitchy Idiots" because these guys were indeed bitchy. liek if u ever did anything illegal, mr. hoover would come after ur ass with a vengeance, unless that crime happened 2 be being a man and sucking his dick or something, in which case he was ok with that. teh CIA was always so secretive bcuz we were always sucking each others dicks. liek if i saw u in teh hallway? i'd stop u and kneel down and suck ur dick. or if teh CIA director was done with a press conference, we'd all 69 each other afterward to blow off some steam.

but j. edgar hoover i heard wasn't invited bcuz he was a real basketcase. i mean, dude lived with his mother until he was 40; at least teh CIA could support themselves by living alone or communally in teh back of a turkish bath. and really we knew all teh best locations for teh turkish baths. and if teh CIA invited any diplomats from africa or sumthin, these FBI clowns would be like "no, no, i cannot do that; i am a white man."

i mean, DUH, of course ur a white man...but while ur setting up assassinations of black panther leaders and shit liek that, we're having a good time sucking some huge cocks and we don't care if they're black or whatever. sodomy is sodomy man, get with the times.

while his ass was goin' after bank robbers and shit, we were lubing up teh world 2 be teh best place that sodomy could possibly occur. we arrested all teh angels and now they're in jail, so we got liek nothin' 2 worry about man. we can have some kind of subterranian salon where we entertain naked dudes with tribal tattoos and its not a big deal, hoover just couldn't get with teh program and acknowledge 2 himself that he wanted all that. what a closet case.